Thank God for Braces’ Rubber Bands

René Magritte, The Son of Man. 1964.

Pain. That’s what I thought of first when my dear dentist told me today that I would need rubber bands.

These are strange, tiny circles that magically expand to fit on the hooks of your braces - and then cement your mouth closed with pain.

Yikes.

I was also told that I’m not allowed to eat with them on either - but let’s be honest, it’s not like I would be able to eat with these rubber bands dictating every movement of my mouth.

However, then I thought: as retired naval officer Jocko Willink would say, Good.

Good that I got rubber bands on my braces, because now I can’t be snacking secretly or eating whatever I want every time I enter the kitchen like a little chipmunk. I’m only allowed to take the bands off for meals or brushing my teeth - and this precious un-rubber-banded time cannot be extended by superfluous snack sessions, because then I wouldn’t be wearing them for 22 hours a day (as instructed by dear dentist).

Yay, no more chipmunk Michelle!

So, really, this pain is good. Thank god.

My dear new braces rubber bands.